There have been quite a lot of new movies in theatres this summer. I rated the 19 I’ve seen (out of 5). Let me know if you agree!
Where to even start with this one. Well, if you like non-stop action, and I do mean NON-STOP, so much so that you can’t tell who’s doing what or what’s up and what’s down, you might enjoy this movie. It got to a point where my eyes were screaming “NO!” at me. The futuristic masks and war paint are terrifying and the story is severely lacking. I heard that this movie was loved by women because it was “empowering”. EMPOWERING? It’s not empowering when you start them off as baby making slaves or milk machines and have them fight their way out of it, potentially losing some on the way. It’s just cruel. There are SO many deaths in this movie too and they don’t hold back. It’s a little too realistic and gruesome. The biggest problem I have with this one though is the story. This woman decides to try to free the king’s wives, knowing full-well that she’s going to have to fight her way out of it, and she didn’t bring any back up! You got to know your chances are slim. Then, I won’t spoil the ending, but the whole journey does seem to be pretty pointless. If there was no action in this movie, it would have been maybe ten minutes long. AND MAX! He’s such a minor character in this story. Honestly I was excited to see Tom Hardy in another movie, but I was majorly disappointed with the screen-time he got.
Rating: 1 paw.
First of all, I’m not even sure why we needed another remake of this. We JUST had one with Chris Evans and Jessica Alba…
The whole movie is probably 3/4 back story, 1/4 actual action movie. Yes, it is nice to have the back story of the characters, but do we need ten minutes of children in the classroom/ at the science fair, etc, etc. there’s just way too much getting ready! We already know what’s going to happen! We can tell by the movie poster who turns into what, so let’s get this show on the road!
The only other thing I want to mention is this “other world” they travel to. What!? Where did this come from? No. They go to space. That’s where it happens. If I was a fan of the comic books, I would have lost it. As it stands, I’m just very diappointed.
Rating: 1 paw
Sadly, the best parts of this movie were in the trailer, so I wasn’t surprised with anything good. Although the story picks up in the last twenty minutes or so, for the first hour or so I was very bored. Again, this movie has included too much backstory. The problem is, it’s needed to understand the plot, and while it does include a lot of information, it throws it all at you during the opening credits, making it hard to catch everything you need. I found the greater half of this one very hard to follow for that reason. The ending was left open, possibly for a sequel. I’ve heard this movie is based on a video game, so maybe somethings were lost in the transition. There were a lot of plot twists and I couldn’t decide which team I was supposed to be on. As the movie ended, I still didn’t know.
Rating: 1.5 paws
The title nailed it. This movie is a trainwreck. You have to be a fan of Amy Schumer’s comedy style to appreciate this movie. It was way too inappropriate. Even as a full grown adult, there are somethings you can just never unsee. While I love Bill Hader, and I do think he played the role well, he and Amy just don’t fit in a romance together. The romantic scenes just felt so awkward, they made me feel uncomfortable just watching. Also, WAY too many sex scenes. We don’t need to see all that. I understand sometimes you need to add them into the script for a little extra something, but you really don’t need that many. It’s just uncomfortable for everyone. The storyline was pretty generic when you think about it, but with a bit of a role reversal which is nice, but the also tends to go off on random tangents. Get it together!
Rating: 2 paws
This movie, as it’s said in the preview, does “stand alone”. You can follow along without having to see the first one. While I wouldn’t exactly give this highly inappropriate movie a 5 paw rating, it did exceed my prior expectations, although they may have been pretty low. The movie is basically a road trip gone bad, just landing us to comedic new situations. I must mention what a pleasant surprise Chris Hemsworth was. I had no idea he could be so funny. The plot is unoriginal, the jokes are R-rated, but you can’t help but laugh at it. Note: Vegans- beware!
14. Ted 2:
Since we’re already talking about inappropriate movies, let’s throw this one into the mix. These guys are obviously on the “legalize marijuana” train. As a movie enthusiast, I’m going to keep this one rather low on my summer movie list, but stoners, this one is for you. To me, the plot seems to be much more exciting than the first. It’s still a very inappropriate movie with its humor and pot references (like the first), but there seems to be more happening. The cameos are Ah-mazing. I don’t want to spoil anything, but the supermarket cameo almost had me in tears I was laughing so hard. The movie does seem to drag out the ending though.
It’s cute. It’s funny. It’s animated. This movie is a great choice for children. One down side though is that, as an alien, “oh!” doesn’t speak perfect English. It’s not exactly teaching children how to be Shakespeare, but if they are over that stage, I see no reason not to see this movie. I was really surprised by Rihanna. I wasn’t sure what to expect with her voicing a main character, but she did a pretty decent job. The ending seemed a bit intense for a kids’ movie, and the whole thing is pretty sad, but I do think this movie was underrated.
12. Shaun the Sheep:
This is definately a kids’ movie and to be honest the only reason I saw it is because I’d seen everything else, but wow. I was really surprised at how this movie which was animated to look like claymation and who’s only line is “baa” hit every note with a bang. I laughed, I (almost) cried, then then I laughed some more. With a few jokes thrown in for adults, a decent plot line, and an adorable baby sheep, this one is a movie I would reccomend (for most people).
11. Paper Towns:
Another hit from Mr. John Green. If you liked the Fault in our Stars, there’s a very good chance you’ll enjoy this movie. Although it doesn’t follow the book as much as I had hoped, I think this version may be even better. I enjoyed this adventure because the kids seem like real people. Unlikely circumstances, yes, but possible nonetheless. The thing I don’t understand is how is it that these kids just take off for a night or two and none of their parents notice? The book explained that a bit, but the movie kind of skips over that altogether.
And a new hero is born (on the big screen). Antman starts off pretty slow. Of course we have to get the full backstory before the adventure can really start, but it quickly picks up to be a high-paced, action-packed adventure. If you’re not sure if you want to see this movie in 3D or not, you should. The effects are worth it. Paul Rudd adds his hilarious charm to this movie, and Evangeline Lilly kicks it up a notch. Overall, although I did find a few plot holes, it’s a pretty fun adventure. There is lots of room for a sequel and maybe even a new addition to the avengers?
9. The Man from U.N.C.L.E:
Wow. So much happens in this movie, it’s unreal. Although the movie does seem to be rather long and dragged out, the story did not disappoint. There’s a little bit of everything in this movie. And can we talk about the eye candy for a minute? Yes, Armie Hammer plays a very attractive Russian man, but Henry Cavill, with the suit, the eyes, and the accent, gets my vote for sexiest man alive, that’s for sure. I know the accent isn’t real, but a girl can dream. Just, wow. Add to that a poised 70s girl we’ve all wanted to be at one time or another and you’ve got yourself a pretty good movie.
My question now is: Who IS the man from U.N.C.L.E?!
8. Inside out:
Pixar has a pretty stellar reputation when it comes to their mega-movie-blockbusters. The merchandise alone from this movie has probably made millions upon millions, but I have to say, I was a little disappointed. I’m not saying it was a bad movie, because it certainly wasn’t. It wouldn’t have made it up this high on the list if it was. It is however missing that little extra “umph”. I mean, the imaginary creature is pretty ugly and creepy. It’s not cute at all. The plot is kind of weird too. The story could have ended a lot sooner. Had Joy just used her brain.
Rating: 4 paws.
First and foremost, the effects in this movie are incredible. Definately worth seeing in 3D, possibly the best of the summer. The movie takes all the classic arcade games and makes them bigger and better. The story line is solid and well-planned and the “trophies” are adorable. There’s so much action in this movie it kind of overshadows Adam Sandler’s trademark humor, but all-in-all, it’s still pretty funny and enjoyable.
6. Terminator Genisys:
With amazing realistic defects, this movie adds to the Terminator franchise like no other. It starts off very similar (almost identical) to the first movie, which was a pretty cool trip back in time, but then there’s a huge twist as Sarah Conner takes the wheel, instead of playing the damsel in distress. While I did really enjoy this movie, I kind of feel like it’s more of a spin off than a sequel as it can now start a whole new line of movies, following this plot. If we’re to believe this story as what happened, it pretty much makes the old movies (more specifically, all sequels until now) pretty pointless. I had to laugh at the photo though. Obviously they couldn’t have the old Sarah Conner play the role again, thirty years later, so the iconic Polaroid had to be changed to suit the new actress. It’s a funny, but necessary change.
Rating: 4 paws.
5: Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation:
It’s funny. It’s smart, it’s sexy. The plot is full of great twists and Tom Cruise does amazing real-life stunts. I don’t have too many complaints about this one. The action keeps you on your toes, but the twists are somewhat predictable.
4. Jurassic World:
The long awaited sequel to the Jurassic trilogy. If you were looking for any of the original cast to return, you will be sadly disappointed, but Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard make the new Jurassic world very sexy. A little too much so? Why does the girl need to be “sweating” (it doesn’t even look like sweat) so much? And why does her looks change so much, but without tearing or dirtying her clothes? The raptors are super adorable, but also terrifying at the same time. How do they do that? I’m not sure the intelligence of the new species was entirely explained either. There’s so much action in this film, and yes it can be a bit scary at times, but if I can handle it, most people should be able to. The ending is left open for other movies in this one too, but once the dinosaurs are all let loose, wouldn’t they just all eat each other anyway?
Rating: 4 paws.
3. Pitch Perfect 2:
This one had a lot to live up to after the first, but it didn’t disappoint. It’s “aca-awesome”! It took all of the much loved elements from the first one and then it kicked it up a notch. The riff-off has got to be the greatest thing though. It brought us booty shaking football players. The Green Bay Packers certainly made a fan out of me. And it brought us the best line of the movie which would have to go to Rebel Wilson with “I’d love to be the meat in that man sandwich”!
They were also able to introduce a new character into the movie. Although I was a little wary at first, I didn’t hate her. Kudos.
Could you make these guys any cuter!? Who would have thought evil could be so cute? Although the 3D is not as good as it could have been, I still think this is one amazing, adorable movie. I’m not sure how they were able to make us cheer for evil, but they did it, and it doesn’t teach bad morals either. If you haven’t seen it, you should. It’s no wonder these guys are everywhere these days. BANANA!
Rating: 5 paws.
And my number one movie is:
This movie truly has everything. You’ve got comedy, action, adventure, mystery. Melissa McCarthy is at her finest. Jude Law plays the charming man Melissa has a crush on, and we can all relate. Who hasn’t had a crush on Mr. law at one point or another? Honestly. Jason Statham surprised me with his hilarious and outrageous remarks. But the biggest surprise in this movie is how completely hilarious Rose Byrne turned out to be.
The action is intense with breaks of comedy and there is a moment of surprise nudity. Anything goes in this movie. It’s a funny “James Bond” type, although it doesn’t try to parody them either. Whatever they did, they nailed it, and I am hoping to see more in the future!
Rating: 5 paws.
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